Walls That Pee Back Public Urinators


If you have ever been on a drinking spree, then you must be familiar with how bathrooms tend to ‘disappear’ after your third bottle. And I bet that you ended up relieving yourself in some of the most awkward places, especially on walls. I’m not surprised by that. What I can’t seem to understand is the fact that you can easily admit that it felt good doing so!

But has it ever occurred to you that one day those walls you enjoy ‘irrigating’ while half-drunk could rise in arms and decide to give you a taste of your own? Yes, that’s precisely the predicament that revelers in Hamburg are slowly coming to terms with.


‘Pissed off’ walls.

Apparently, the residents of St Pauli – Hamburg’s leading party district – are fed up with the drunken behavior of patrons relieving themselves on their walls and even doors. To curb this otherwise rampant behavior, the locals have resulted in taking stringent measures that will see a majority of these party animals go home drenched in their own urine. This is after painting most of the walls near drinking establishments with a ‘superhydrophobic’ veneer that reflects back urine to an unsuspecting offender.

The ‘anti-public urination’ community has gone a notch higher and introduced the urine-repellent paint on playgrounds, home entrances, electric posts, and even under bridges. However, I must say that they were kind enough to warn the partygoers by erecting satirical signs that say something along the lines of, ” If you pee here, we’ll pee back on you!” But we all know no one reads signs while drunk. So a good number of these public urinators must be having a hard time keeping their shoes and pants dry.

St Pauli – Hamburg’s drinking den.

St Pauli, which rivals the Amsterdam in insobriety, welcomes millions of revelers every year who flock here in search of the good ol’ bottle. The locals of this former sailor town have for many years put up with the almost ritualistic behavior of peeing in public. According to the residents, this vile practice had become so widespread that it was almost acceptable or ‘fashionable’ to be seen peeing on the streets while staggering and clutching a half-empty bottle.

“It is as if we’re living in a sewer. They do not even spare our children’s playgrounds,” Julia Straton, one the voices behind the urine-proof walls laments. Clearly, with the German Polizei sleeping on the job on this one, someone had to take matters into their own hands.

What it takes to keep the defaulters off the walls.

An inside source revealed it costs over $554 to discourage the Wildpinklers from splashing a 65-square foot area. While it’s a rather steep price to pay, the locals are already reaping the fruits of this initiative. The urine stench is slowly lifting off, and social workers no longer have to spend hours cleaning after the revelers.

While I’m not that good at following rules, I can’t deny that this novel innovation is one of the best applications of science I have seen in a long time. Even though I’ve been an occasional culprit of being too lazy to look for a public bathroom, I would love to see this urine-deflecting paint introduced in many other cities.

In addition to using this urine repelling paint, another thing the local community could do is post public toilet directories on the walls, with maps to the nearest public restroom.

Related reading: Manchester is considering using the anti-pee revolutionary paint to public walls.